I was proud of her. I honestly and truly was proud of her promotion. She worked hard for the last 8 months for that promotion and I wanted to cheer her on and congratulate her. But I was in my feelings, busy looking at myself and wondering why I wasn’t flourishing like her. I made up a lame excuse for why I couldn’t make it to her celebration dinner with the promise that I would make it up. I wanted to give her all my love and support but I was standing still. I didn’t have any accomplishment to celebrate or fresh news to discuss. I was in the same spot I was in when she started her quest for a promotion and now we were on two different levels. It wasn’t her fault but I didn’t show up for her and it wasn’t fair. I needed to check myself because no one wants the jealous, hating friend that can’t celebrate her friend’s wins.
It was Taraji P. Henson that taught me how to cheer for someone even when the spotlight isn’t on me. It was the 2015 Emmy Awards and Regina King won the Emmy award for Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Limited Series. Her friend Taraji was presenting her with the award and she couldn’t wait to hand it to her. She screamed her name while announcing she won and hugged her down when she made it on the stage. A part of me is sure she said “You go girl!” in her ear. She was proud of her friend and she wanted her to know it. Later that evening, Viola Davis won the Emmy Award for Best Actress in a TV series and Taraji again showed her love and support for her peer and friend. She stood in celebration while she listened to Viola speak about women of color having opportunities. She stanned for her like she was her biggest fan. Taraji didn’t win the award she was nominated for that night but definitely took home the Best Supporting Friend award. That night was about her girls and their accomplishments. She didn’t need to be accepting an award to be proud of them. She didn’t need the spotlight on her to celebrate everything they worked for. They deserved that.
I’ve long gotten out of my feelings and I have taken that friend out to celebrate her promotion (and the one after that) but from time to time, I have to check myself and remember: ” It ain’t about you!”. It’s about a girlfriend that deserves support from her girl.