Thirty years. That’s how long it took to me to admit that sometimes I’m wrong. I feel like I gave that up pretty early.

I’m not always right. Most of the time I am but there are rare moments when a playa slips up. Predictably, I would fight someone tooth and nail before I admit that I was wrong and probably being dramatic. But lately I’ve been self evaluating and with that comes admittance, ownership and change/growth.

Sometimes I’m loud and wrong.

Admitting that I am the one that’s wrong in an argument is such a hit to my pride/ego but relationship specialists say there shouldn’t be an ego in relationships. So there’s that.

“But women don’t admit when they are wrong. They just move on.”

But why don’t women admit when they are wrong? Is it because we feel like we will look weak? Is it because men don’t admit when they are wrong either? Is it because arguing in an attempt to move on is easier than owning our “wrongness”? Is it because we truly don’t see when we are wrong? I’m usually the latter. You have to convince me that I am wrong. Pull out a powerpoint presentation with bullet points describing when and how I was wrong. But, I’m thirty now. I want relationships, friendships and family ties that are strong, loving and void of pettiness. What is it really costing me to admit when I’m wrong, apologize if needed and move on? What do I gain from needing to feel like the winner of an argument even when I’m not ‘the winner’? Is it worth losing connections due to pettiness and ego? What’s wrong with being wrong sometimes?

Turning thirty does something to your mental man.